For those of you who don't know, my mom is going through chemo and radiation therapy for rectal cancer right now. After losing my dad earlier this year, it was especially important to me to spend some quality time with my family and my mother. While I am sure she was not up for visitors (especially our crew), we surprised her on Christmas Eve and the kids definitely lived up to their name of the FAB FIVE... (be patient, it takes a moment to load)
The reality of my dad not being here this Christmas has hit me really hard today. I was doing okay up until today - the boys are out of school for a week and a half, Dan is home from work for the next week and a 1/2, shopping is done, blah blah blah....but there is no dad. There is no grandpa, there will be no grandpa here on Christmas morning to see my kid's happy faces. I already see the light of my dad fading from their memories and it breaks my heart. There will be no twinkle in his eye as the kid's wake him up, he won't be sitting there for hours helping get the damn presents out of their boxes and then spending even more hours playing with them until he can barely hold his eyes open anymore. He won't be here sitting in "his" chair flipping channels on our TV with the volume turned way too loud until the wee hours of the morning.
It sucks and I hate it. I don't want to struggle through Christmas without him. It's not fair. I do believe there is a reason God did this to our family, but I cannot begin to fathom what that could possibly be.
At least, I guess, it is helping me take my focus off of mom and her struggles - at least temporarily.
I am sorry to be such a downer. I really have been trying to struggle through it, but today, it all came crashing down around me.
Daddy, I hope you know how much you are missed, how much you touched our lives, how much it hurts to go on without you. I also hope you did not suffer and you went happy knowing we were coming to visit so soon.
I love you and miss you, daddy. Merry Christmas.
Here are the Fab Five from Christmas 2006 (on the left) and Christmas 2007 (on the right).
We've had a pretty nasty cold around here this week. Lots of snot, lots of Kleenex. You know the drill. But....
You know their colds must be bad when they want to do it themselves!!!
Dan is travelling and Andrew, Jason and Tessa are sick. I am sure Noah is soon to follow. Tyler's already had his run in with this virus.
Somehow, I don't know how he does it, but Dan has escaped yet another round of sickness in this house. I think he tells the kids to get sick when he is away. That must be it. I am convinced. he sneaks into their rooms and whispers in their ears to get sick while daddy is away. This way, he can fly back home at the end, come in and save the day and become the hero once again because mommy is worn out and crabby and daddy usually comes home bearing gifts!
If only I could get the kids to admit he tells them this - then I could exact my revenge! :-)
Two days ago, Tyler came home from school complaining he didn't feel well. A short while later, he threw up, again and again. A short time after that, the other end started. Ugh....
Question of the day: How do you keep 5 little ones from sharing?
Answer: You don't. **Sigh** Jason started throwing up in his crib about midnight. Then his other end started working overtime too.
Tyler was better by the next morning. Jason took a little while longer to recover, but perked up Tuesday night. I kept Tyler and Noah home from school *just in case*.
Nothing else happened all day. Tessa, Andrew and Noah all seemed to be holding their own - eating, drinking, playing. I thought I was out of the woods....silly me. What was I thinking???
Here it is Wednesday. Tyler and Jason are great. Dan flies off to Denver this morning. Everything is going great. We're playing, having fun. About 2:00, I run out for a long overdue haircut, only to receive a call in the middle of it....
Tessa is puking all over the place. Soon after, Andrew follows. This is so not a club I wanted to join, but alas, I am becoming a charter member quickly.
to be continued........
